1. Seeing an anger management graduation certificate on your wall. Don't punch us for saying this, and it's great to be proud of your accomplishments and all, but maybe you should take down reminders of your violent past if a woman is coming over. Unless it's Naomi Campbell who's coming over.
2. A picture of your mom on your nightstand. Don't you have a mantel?
3. A picture of your pet in your wallet. Be a man.
4. A tattoo of your ex's name. If you were really over her, you would have covered it up. Tommy Lee and Johnny Depp got rid of their body art dedicated to ex-lovers.
5. Expensive shampoo/conditioner. You don't have to use Suave, but she may question your sexuality if your grooming products are more expensive than hers.
6. Your magazine subscriptions. She'll scrutinize your bathroom reading materials. If they're all work-related, she'll think you don't know how to play. If they're all ladies magazines, she'll think you like to be a player. If they're all porn magazines, she'll think you play with yourself too much.
7. Potpourri. This implies your mother does your interior decorating. Go on Trading Spaces.
No comments:
Post a Comment